Through today's little outing, i had some self-realisation...

Emptiness, emptiness in my life.
I feel that i have wasted my life up till now... Basically i feel that i'm useless...
I was thinking to myself on the train, it seems that my life is quite a nice and pleasant one...


But something is lacking, something so impt lacking that resulted in me sitting in this train, thinking about things that are so random.

I think really hard, I thought of Jin Man, needing to go ard and collect her t shirts, which makes me wanna help, but too bad she got accompany alr..

Thats when I suddenly realise what am i lacking, I am lacking commitments!!

Actually, to live my life is simple, sch home sch home or go out once in awhile.

Totally no commitments, why is commitments so impt?? It makes us stressed and tired! It doesn't always gives you money.. Even if it does, its not much also ma... Sometimes might even be cheated as cheap labor! Some ppl might said tt...


But sometimes it cant be measured by monetary values,
Although it may be stress, tired... and has almost no values in it, there is something that you gained from it that cant be measured by money! Its the sense of satisfactory!! The feeling that made yourself feel that you are useful and lived your life to the fullest!

This cant be bought!

Commitments are one of those factors that made us lived our life happily!

Looking at some live examples,

Mei Qi and Vivian, perhaps they seems to be slogging for their race thingy, they sometimes even have to sacrifice their sleep to finish their proposal! As far as i noe, they dun get money for organising, maybe just points, but what really motivates them is actually the sense of satisfactory they gained when things are going in a successful manner and ppl starts to join!
i could see the big wide grin from their face, its different from tio-ing 4D, in fact its more happier den that..!



Next, Jin Man, she got SA, SUI, SINGTEL, PARENTS' work and SCHOOL to cope with!

Sometimes, I wished that i could force her to drop just something, in order to let her catch her breath and break away from so much stress...

But i realised that although she is stressed, she is happy! Cos i think that she had lived her life till its fullest, making everyday occupied! Making everyday happenning!
Even if i forced her to take off all her duties, she would still have her commitments! Commitments to blog!
Therefore, the least i can do for her was to relieve some of her stress and burden by either pampering or helping her out.. I admit i sometimes screwed up and made it worst... >.<
Sorry girl! Blehs!


you see... Everyone has their commitments!
even bangala have their commitment to their family, earning better money to provide their loved ones with better life!

Let alone that,

Even my dear dog has her commitments to this family as in to protect this family and bring joy and laughter to them!



Actually, after thinking so much, i still think that i have neither commitments, thus i felt that i am really useless!

Sometimes, i try to do what i am most confident in, commiting to someone i love...
But sometimes the commitment gave me pains, thus, sometimes i feel that i have wasted life and discouraged!


Lastly, i felt that though i had lived and grown for 17 years, i realised that i really had nth that i could be proud of, nth that i actually finished it, i always start things and give up half way..!

Anyway, i cooked today's dinner for mum! Its Jing Kang's yummy VEGETARIAN(I WONT READ IT WRONGLY AGAIN K! Blehs!!) fried rice!

The end product! Its black cos mum likes it with soy sauce! she gave me a 85/100!
From a expert like her, i'm more den happy already..
Hehe! i caught someone sitting attentively at the kitchen door, sniffing what am i doing...! Caught ya Vodka!
Dun act shy la! hahas.. i come den you turn away!
She eventually shoot one big plate of my fried rice! =P

I'm gonna live my life to the fullest!