I hate to say this but ya, I guess that there should be an ending to everything, be it a sad one or a happy one…

I must first declare that I am not saying that I had enough, but it’s just that it seems so obvious that you want it that way… Since I said before, if you want anything, I’ll do or get it for you…
& I can definitely ensure that this is no more a being over-sensitive issue… & this is not an emo post!

I will never forgot something you said to me before,
“I dun want relationship to affect our friendship”

Yeap, I guess you are right… When I remember that sentence, I immediately regretted so many things I have done.

I feel so guilty towards you because I am always the one who jeopardized our friendship with relationship matters.
I feel so dumb if this is the way it is going to be, ending our friendship because of some relationship problems, I felt such waste to lose a friend like you.
That’s why I tried so hard these two days, trying to fill up the dent in between our friendship.
I tried to make you comfortable talking to me again.

I tried to never mention things that made you upset.

I tried to only be a concerned friend of yours.

I tried to hold myself in, telling myself that what’s happening now is mostly your fault, so don’t blame her for being so cold towards you.

I tried to feign ignorance when I know that it is so obvious that you just din want to reply.

But, now things have come to like that, I guess no point crying over spilled milk. I can only regret and learn from it. I guess the strain between us is too much beyond repairing.

Sorry to said that, all I can tell is that something are meant to be treated like precious but something are just worthless to keep…
Just like our friendship to you…

I always believed in this,” Friendship is a foundation to every single possible relationship, & dun treat girls more important than a friendship”.

It just seems that ours is at its end already, because no matter how I compromise, you just won’t want to make a reaction upon it.

But up till the very end, I still put myself stubbornly and cheaply just to realize and correct what I have done wrong.
I guess I overlooked a phrase called,” Can’t be bothered.”

Sometimes, I keep thinking to myself, why can’t you just try understanding what am I trying so hard to do this period of time?
Why did you not do what you said?
Remain as normal friends but not that thing we are not meant to be?
Aren’t you contradicting yourself with your actions?
I had to say this since long time ago.
Busy is not always the excuse to everything, sometimes, it’s just a matter of choice.
But I choose to believe, and keep reassuring myself, it will be over just like all other times, but it seems so different now…

There is so much things remains unspoken, and now the weight of it simply just crushed us.

I guess I should stop it, stop everything I am trying to do, every time I try to make things better end up making things worst.

Cos I think what they say is right, woman’s heart is just unpredictable.
I am just not a good friend to start with, that’s why worthless now.

I guess I will not bother you a single bit anymore, cause, despite trying to be clear-minded but not emo, all I can tell is that you obviously want to give up on this friendship.

I won’t ever be a pest anymore.
But the day our friendship will recover, is the day when you are willing to talk to me.
No matter what, I choose to retain the joyful memory of us and forget terrible past of us.
That’s the last promise I can promise you, my friend…

I missed the days in school
I missed the days we can go out together
I missed walking you almost to your doorsteps
I missed accompanying you anywhere you wanted
I missed going from one end to the other of Singapore just to walk you home
I missed the days of junk food
I missed the days where we almost talked every night about almost everything
I missed the laughter we had on phone
I missed the fun we had over just pronouncing the names
I missed the naughty you
I missed the gentleness you never shown
I missed the chocolate fondue we shared
I missed the never ending secrets and gossips we shared
I missed so much memory we had
But it is just like missing a train, I can never get it back…

*Sad*
*But it is just the way you want it to be*
*I've got nth to say*